I hate the fact I wrote this blog but I have to...
Yes.
As the title itself means.
I HATE THE FACT I WROTE THIS BLOG...
I'm in a relationship with a great guy who loves me dearly and puts me on a pedestal.
I'm his princess. And he's my prince.
Then here goes a typical sleepless night...
Its 2am. Everybody in the household except for my hamsters (and other commonly unwelcomed nocturnal household settlers) is asleep. I took a warm bath, prepared myself a nice cup of tea and settled on a comfy chair in front of the computer. Suddenly (out of nowhere or maybe from the deep ends of my soul) the nagging feeling of urgency to check on an old flame came into me. He's not my friend on friendster so I had to search him on the header. . Ang shunga ko talaga. Nakalimutan ko his sister is my friend pala! Anyway, I went through the task of searching every ___ in friendster. I hardly recognized him when I saw his picture.
It felt very weird.
He seems happy so I didn't dare do any move (Ok fine. Considered move na ang i-view siya!)
After staring at his picture for awhile I realized I've hurt him so much.
I can't say sorry. I don't want to bother his life ever again. I guess I'm writing this blog because I feel, I hope my choice of words give justice to the feeling, still attached to him.
We used to be close. Very close.
Then he left and asked me to wait.
But... you know me. I hate waiting.
Hmmm.
I read his shoutout which says alot about love being like tissue paper. You only realize most of it was wasted on shit after you take the last from the roll.
Siyempre inandaran ako ng pagka-feelingerang echosera ko.
I had to reply through my own shoutout (feeling ako yung tinatamaan. Sosme!)
I hate that I have to write about him. I had more significant stories like how my dog Steve was attacked AGAIN by a pitbull (favorite?) and was rushed to the hospital for surgery (Thank God he has 9 lives like his cat friends. But I hope he won't be attacked again. You should've seen me nag like a single mom and make a scene in front of the neighbors after my dog was bitten. Papabarangay ko talaga yung owner ng pit bull!)
Well, I'm swerving from the topic already.
And before I end this blog... I remember the last message I sent him before he left...
"If you see me walking the road with someone else, its not because I like that person's company, its because you weren't brave enough to walk beside me.
If you hear me talking about that person all the time, its not because that person pleases me, its because you were too deaf to hear my heart beat.
If you feel me falling for someone new, its not because I love that person, its because you weren't there to catch me as I fall."
***I HAVE TO. I have to write this so it won't rot in my system.
YES. I'm letting you go. If you should know...
NO. I didn't cry while writing.
WE'RE BOTH FREE.
If you hear me talking about that person all the time, its not because that person pleases me, its because you were too deaf to hear my heart beat.
If you feel me falling for someone new, its not because I love that person, its because you weren't there to catch me as I fall."
***I HAVE TO. I have to write this so it won't rot in my system.
YES. I'm letting you go. If you should know...
NO. I didn't cry while writing.
WE'RE BOTH FREE.
